Looking back: My 12th Year With Natural Hair

Hi Kink and Curlfriends,

Last week I realised that I’ve been natural for almost 12 years.

Last year June (2022) marked my 11th big chop anniversary. I made up my mind well before starting this journey that I would embark on it. I knew in December 2010, right before I had my last relaxer, that it would be the last. It wasn’t a question of if I was going natural, but when. I poured through videos of women transitioning and convinced myself that it would be easy and straightforward. It wasn’t. I was in school studying for my first degree when I came back to my room one day, tired of transitioning, and cut off all my hair with a pair of household scissors - please use proper hair scissors, or better yet got to a stylist, if you decide to do this! It was cathartic. A lot of women express a sense of letting go, shedding something old, and feeling free. That’s how I felt. In a conversation recently, someone referred to it as brave, but the truth is, I don’t think I was afraid of cutting my hair, I think I really wanted to do it.

Why I started this blog

I started the blog to document my hair journey - sort of as a journal, to capture, reflect on, and share my experiences of what I was learning about natural hair care. Back then, Youtube and personal blogs were the black hair encyclopedia for new naturals, but there weren’t many natural hair bloggers and vloggers in the UK, so at times, it felt like I was fending for myself. That’s not the case now, though. There is so much information out there. The UK caught up with the US hair product market, so we’re no longer scrambling for leave-ins, gels and styling creams. There’s generally more education on natural hair care from experts and professionals. Over time, this space has evolved into my own personal hair care time machine.

What HAS changed since I started

A lot has changed. I started a podcast: The Natural Hair Podcast two years ago, and started expanding on conversations I was already having about hair on and offline. I took a break to re-think how I want to use that platform, but I hope to be back soon.

I've come so far from my product junkie, trend-following days. I barely watch YouTube videos about hair care; when I do, these days, it's more for entertainment than education. Occasionally, I'll watch a short styling video. I've tried to get back into my own video-making, but it's hard. My library is full of old unedited drafts. I don't feel sad about that; it feels good to be letting go of something that doesn't fit into my life right now - that’s been a big theme for me over the past few years. There may come a time when I decide to try again, and it just clicks. We'll see!

My hair looks and feels very different now - for starters, the microlocs I installed in March 2021 are gone. I talk about why I decided to cut off my microlocs in my last post. Even before I got my starter locs, my hair texture was really different: more course, drier, more brittle, and less curl definition than when I first grew out my natural hair. I am sure that, in part, this is because I wasn't spending as much time on my hair as I did as a student. I just don’t have that time anymore. I am glad I tried to pursue ease and a relatively pain-free journey, even if that’s not quite how things worked out. I loved the versatility that came with having microlocs, but I don’t miss the maintenance. I will loc my hair again, but when I do, I’ll probably opt for regular locs, and the palm-rolling.

What’s still the same

I am still firmly standing with "#TeamNatural" (I haven't used this term for a long time), but I am on a different path. I am enjoying the lifestyle that I've eased into since I cut my hair again. I was 20 going on 21 when I started this blog, I just turned 33. I still really like my hair. I enjoy wash days. My product shelf contains the same go-to products I’ve used for years. My routine hasn’t changed; wash and deep-condition weekly, and follow up with a good leave-in.

In 2021, I read Gabriel Union's first biography, 'We're Going to Need More Wine'. It made me laugh, made me a little nostalgic, but it also made me sad. She talked about hair, the politics of it, and the challenges she faced navigating her career as a black woman with afro hair. There's a lot we, as black and brown women, have endured in the name of beauty. To think that we were willingly subjecting ourselves to pain, burns, permanent damage and scarring to conform to a set beauty standard is…well, it's really sad. This isn’t a judgement on anyone who relaxes or chemically treats/alters their hair. But I do want to advocate for safety. Go to professional stylists if you can afford it, follow the instructions, and do your research to make sure you’re making informed decisions and aware of any associated risks.

In general, I still lean towards neutrality when it comes to discussions about natural hair vs relaxed hair. Do what feels good, embrace ease, and do what improves your quality of life. Sometimes that will mean choosing the creamy crack. I’m not going back to it, although I still sometimes miss the 'convenience' of relaxed hair. I don’t want to digress too much, so I'll save my musings and deeper reflections for a longer post.

In summary, it’s me, I’m still here.

I’m going to throw in some pictures of my hair throughout the years.

Blogging isn’t always easy for me, but writing this felt like catching up with an old friend.

I'll be back soon, Kink & Curlfriends.

Until then, stay healthy, happy and blessed.

Love, Cookie x